At the same time I was angry and disappointed. I came in the bottom 5%...12 minutes before the cutoff time. Now this would be fine usually because if you asked me I always said "My aim is to finish".
But seeing my team mates and how far they had improved int he past months, and the times they posted compared to mine left me feeling disappointed in myself.
I'm 32 and physically able (barring the bloody knee but hey... people do this without a limb!) and I'm looking to just finish?! Where is my competitive spirit...the sense to push myself and join in the game?
Seeing the photos of me from Wildflower finally pushed me over the edge of this discussion in my head for a week after Wildflower....I looked like a bottom 5% finisher.
So...I hit bottom...and instead of giving up or accepting my fate...I'm waking up and changing my mindset.
Time to give it my best and set myself some REAL goals. No "bottom 5%".....not crazy or stupid to say "top 5%" but instead it's "do the best you can" with something proud to tell others...and get a look of respect on their faces instead of the pity face.
Time to get rid of this damn spare tire that I see in every photo....reminding me that I'm just trying rather than competing.
Time to set some real goals....
Steps I've made since I changed my mindset 3+ weeks ago
(1) Started P90x and completed 3 weeks...lost 6 pounds and feel muscles forming....I'll share those before / after photos after I finish
(2) Increasing my biking to increase my form as well as counter the lack of running
(3) Holding myself accountable to my new mindset..hence posting it here.
Welcome to the new Lucy!
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