Sunday, July 3, 2011

Slump

Slump.

I'm guessing this is a normal feeling for anyone training hard for anything. You get to a point where the initial excitement dies...and then the drive and determination fade...and then you question why? It starts with just missing 1 workout...you can do it later, right? Then you miss a whole day...then it turns into a week. You look back and notice that you don't feel any different after a week, so it must be ok that you missed a week, right? That's where I am...

Slump.

I remember studying for my actuarial exams...6 months of studying to have a 40% chance of passing. It always seemed crazy but I'd spend hours every week sitting at a desk reading materials, highlighting reams of text, and practicing hours upon hours of mathematical proofs. Every Sunday I'd delay studying...saying I'll start at 12 noon...then it would be 2pm...then eventually forcing myself to sit at 6pm for 4 hours. Same pattern every week until 4 weeks before the exam of which I'd have a panic attack at my lack of knowledge and start studying every minute available....
It took 7 years, 30 exam attempts, and 00's hours to finally be called a qualified actuary.

Now here I am in the same position but instead of the intellectual challenge of being a member of a club of 60,000 people in the world...I'm facing a determination of the body. To push the muscles and fibers and endurance of my body for 1 second of crossing the finish line and be called an IronMan along with likely more than hundreds of thousands of people that have gone through the same thing.

Getting out the Slump.

So I'm accepting the fact that this is a normal pattern I go through...and maybe others do too?
Acceptance is part of the way to get through this...but then what?
I'm looking for that motivation again...why am I devoting so much of my life to this? Why am I dragging the husband here too?
What is so important to push myself through hours of squats, sit-ups, cycling, swimming...for that 1 second of exhilaration?

How do I push through all the challenges I am facing with the body...the broken down knee, the 31% body fat (ouch!) leading to me facing my beloved food choices, and the shoulder knots that make the masseurs go "what are you doing to get these!?"

hmm...guess these challenges are what makes life interesting...if it was all easy then everyone would do it.
and I don't sign up for the things that "everyone" can do.

So I'm working my way The Slump. Wish me luck!

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